Real Life Stories: “Alex was 27 and had a glittering career in finance ahead of him when he passed away from a Brain Haemorrhage”
In January 2020, at just 27, Alex passed away from an unexpected Brain Haemorrhage.
His mother, Judy, tells his story.
Words by Judy Coutinho
It was early January 2020 and we had had a lovely but hectic Christmas & New Year with many of our family over from the USA to celebrate together. Alex who was 27 and the eldest of my 4 sons was home from Chicago where he was living and working and, as always, his being with us ‘made Christmas’. He was 27 years old and had a glittering career in finance for Grant Thornton and loved his life in the “Windy City”.
Alex had gone to the University of Manchester for his degree and had remained very close to the friends he had lived with whilst studying there and had begun his career with Grant Thornton in Manchester. He had therefore gone to meet up with those friends as he always did before flying back to the States. He dashed off to spend a weekend with them taking advantage of his younger brother’s empty apartment.
On the Sunday morning I spoke with him as I was due to pick him up and bring him back to our home near Preston in readiness for his flight back to Chicago on the Tuesday. He said he felt unwell but I wasn’t too concerned and said I’d call him later to double check how he was. On calling he sounded incredibly groggy, he was being sick and had a bad headache; I started to feel slightly worried but he was adamant he wanted to sleep and he would come home the next day.
“The next morning I called him and was rather concerned when he asked ‘what day it was?’ Although he said he felt slightly better alarm bells started clanging & I told him my partner Gary & I were coming and would pick him up in an hour. It was to be the last conversation I had with him!”
We jumped in the car and drove the 42 miles to Manchester and called him on his mobile when we arrived at the apartment. There was no answer and I continued calling for several minutes, getting more and more concerned with each unanswered call. We managed to get into the building and started hammering on the door of the apartment. We heard a strange noise and thud from within the apartment and thankfully a neighbour heard the commotion and got the concierge to open the door.
“We found Alex collapsed on the floor barely breathing. Gary started life support whilst I hysterically waited for the emergency services.
He was blue lighted to Manchester Royal Infirmary with me accompanying him. His heart was beating but he was unable to breathe without ventilation. ”
He was whisked away in to resus and I began the frantic calls to his father and 3 brothers to get them to come to the hospital. I had absolutely no idea what was wrong despite being a nurse by training. I was terrified it was perhaps meningitis because my second son had suffered from it as a baby.
The family arrived at the hospital and following scans we were told that Alex had a brain haemorrhage and the scans were being shown to the neurosurgical team at Salford. I prayed and prayed that they could do something to save him. Tragically the A&E consultant came and shared the catastrophic news that the bleed was too extensive and was all around the brain stem. Instantly I knew that my handsome, charismatic son would never breathe again on his own or survive and I told the doctor he would want to be an organ donor.
We moved up to the ITU and the following day at 2.24pm Alex was declared dead. Family and friends ….over 60 of them came from all over the UK to say their goodbyes to him.
We remained with Alex as he was taken to the operating theatre at 3am on the Wednesday morning for the organ retrieval and then waited for over 8 hours for his body to be brought back for us to spend time and say good bye without all the tubes.
Alex donated his heart to a 19 year old girl, his lungs to a 14 year old girl, part of his liver to a little boy and the larger part to a lady in her 50’s, one kidney to a young man and the other to a young woman. He gave the ultimate gifts to those people and I remain passionate about organ donation.
“I realise now that we were very unaware of the signs of a brain haemorrhage and it never for a moment crossed my mind that it could happen to Alex. He was 27 years old and fit and well ….never having a day in hospital.”
If I were to give one piece of advice to others it would be this, live your best life everyday as none of us know how much time we have.
In memory of Alex Newlove.
Have you lost someone to a brain haemorrhage? Check this article for 5 things to help you deal with the death of a loved one after a brain haemorrhage
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