5 things to consider when talking to someone who has had a brain haemorrhage

It can be so hard to know what to say to someone who has experienced a brain haemorrhage. Their whole life has been flipped upside down, everything they know about life, everything they know about their own life, who they are, their future. 

And at this immensely difficult time, you don’t want to make things harder for them by saying the wrong thing and making them upset or angry. 

If you are struggling to know what to say to, or how to interact with someone who has experienced a brain haemorrhage (or anyone who has been through a traumatic experience), have a read below of these 5 things to consider when talking to someone who has had a brain haemorrhage. 

1/ Let them know you are there for them without being overbearing 

It can be a very lonely place for someone after a brain haemorrhage. They can get caught up in the trauma of their experience, feeling lost in their new reality, saddened in the thought that no one really understands what is going on for them.

So, the last thing they need is their family and friends avoiding them because they don’t know the ‘right’ thing to say or do.

Well, very simply, the ‘right’ thing to do is to let them know they are not alone and actually be there for them. They don’t need to be smothered, but they do need to know that they have love and support around them to get through their trauma and what lies ahead. So continue to check in from time to time, spend time with them and offer help where appropriate.

2/ Ask them how you can support them

If you are unsure exactly how you can support them, ask them. 

“How can I help you”? 

“Do you want me to come around every day to help you with ‘the washing’ (for example)”? “Would you like me to come for a coffee on Friday mornings?” 

Everyone is different and everyone deals with things differently, so understanding what sort of support they want and would benefit from is helpful to know so that you don’t overbear them.

3/ Ask them if they want to talk about their brain haemorrhage or not

Whilst talking through what has happened to them and what they are now experiencing as a result is very helpful, not everyone is always ready and comfortable to do so. 

Perhaps start by asking them if they do want to talk through their brain haemorrhage or something else, so that you are both on the same page and there is no awkwardness as you try to skirt around the topic. 

For someone whose life is now completely consumed by their brain haemorrhage, sometimes they might want a respite from it and to talk about ‘normal’ things.

Equally, let them know that if they do want to talk through their experiences that you are there for them to do so and create the space and environment so that when they are ready to talk to you, you are there for them to do so. 

4/ Be mindful that everything in their life has changed 

It can often be easy to isolate their trauma to a past experience, a brain haemorrhage that has been and gone.

But that moment has now shaped every single aspect of their life. Not just their physical and mental capabilities, but their career, their social life, their relationships, their intimate relationships. Everything they saw for their own future has changed, they are now a completely different person and not only do they have to adjust to all of this, their whole perspective on life has changed. 

So as you talk to them, be mindful of the topics of conversation that you bring up and how they might see, and experience, things differently now.

5/ On the flip side, try not to treat them any differently

Equally just like I mentioned in point #3 bringing an element of ‘normality’ into their life, may be exactly what they need from time to time as a break from the trauma they have been experiencing.

Talk to them about ‘normal’ things, the weather, topical news, what’s going on in your life. Don’t make them feel even more ‘different’ by now excluding them from your life, which before their brain haemorrhage they would have been a part of. 

However, as you do so, be mindful of offloading any of your smaller, day to day problems onto them. Whilst of course they are still important in your life, in the grand scheme of what they have just been through, it may trigger them, and create a sense of anger hearing someone complain about such insignificant problems after the life altering experience they have just been through. 

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We hope you found this article helpful. 

If you are happy to, we would love to hear more about your experience with brain haemorrhages whether you or someone you love has experienced one. This will help us create more relevant information and resources that will benefit individuals like you through this traumatic experience.

Simply click here to fill in a short form to share more about your experiences with us.