Grief Awareness Week: Understanding loss, finding support & turning grief into purpose

Grief Awareness Week gives us a moment to stop, reflect and acknowledge how many people carry their grief quietly, often without the space, understanding or support they truly need. At The Natalie Kate Moss Trust, we see the profound impact that sudden loss, particularly from a brain haemorrhage, can have on individuals, families, workplaces, and entire communities.

Grief is not simple.

Grief is not linear.

And grief rarely looks the way we expect.

In our latest episode of the Prevent the Preventable podcast, our director, Fiona, speaks with emotional wellness coach Helen Arthur about navigating grief, not by providing a “step-by-step”, but through compassion, honesty, and practical tools that help people understand and honour their journey.

This blog brings together that conversation and the lived experiences of our community to offer guidance, comfort, and hope.

Watch the full podcast episode below.

What grief really is... and what it isn’t

One of the most powerful truths shared in the episode is this:

“Grief isn’t intellectual. It doesn’t live in the head. It is emotional, natural, and utterly unique.” - Helen Arthur

Grief is not reserved only for bereavement. It can arise from:

• The loss of a loved one

• The loss of the future you expected

• The loss of health, identity, or independence

• The loss of routines, relationships, or certainty

• Any sudden change that shatters what life looked like “before”

After a brain haemorrhage, families often grieve not only the person they’ve lost, but also the person they were before, the life they used to live, the hobbies, careers, or independence that may have changed forever.

Understanding this removes the pressure to “be okay” or to meet an invisible timeline of recovery.

Your grief is valid, no matter its shape.

Talking about grief helps us heal

We avoid conversations about grief because they’re uncomfortable, but silence makes grief heavier.

Talking openly about grief, loss, change and even death:

• Helps us understand grief before we experience it

• Makes it easier to support others

• Creates safe spaces for emotional honesty

• Helps us feel less alone

  
  

Conversations like this podcast episode help break the taboo and invite people into openness, compassion and support.

Acknowledging & naming your emotions

In the early days of grief, life is often filled with logistics: hospital plans, funerals, paperwork, speaking to family, organising belongings. These tasks keep us busy, but they also keep us from feeling.

Instead of relying on umbrella words like “sad” or “angry”, try to name the specific emotion:

• Fear

• Overwhelm

• Resentment

• Guilt

• Frustration

• Envy

• Disappointment

  
  

When you name an emotion, you take the first step towards processing it. Specificity brings clarity, and clarity brings healing.

Giving yourself permission to feel

You are allowed to stop.

You are allowed to feel.

You are allowed to rest.

Whether your loss happened days ago or years ago, giving yourself emotional space matters.

Even 15 minutes of stillness, journalling, breathing, sitting in silence, can prevent years of suppressed pain.

Wallowing for a moment is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

Taking small, compassionate steps forward

Grief shrinks your capacity, even basic tasks can feel heavy.

Small daily intentions help:

“Today was hard because…”

“Today was good because…”

“Tomorrow I will aim to…”

Some days, your only goal may be:

Get up. Shower. Wash my hair.

If that’s all you manage, it’s enough.

If you don’t manage it, that’s okay too.

Why ignoring grief doesn’t make it go away

Unprocessed grief builds up over time, like a pressure cooker.

Avoiding emotions can lead to:

• Chronic low mood

• Depression

• Physical health issues

• Reduced focus and productivity

• Strained relationships

You may believe you’ve “moved on” when you’ve only moved past your emotions.

Allowing yourself to process grief protects your future wellbeing.

You don’t have to do this alone... seek support!

Support can come in many forms:

What helps

• Someone who listens without solving

• Support groups where others truly understand

• Therapy or coaching, especially methods that help you take emotional action

What doesn’t help

• Minimising comments (“At least they didn’t suffer”)

• People disappearing because they “don’t know what to say”

• Comparing your grief to someone else’s

  
  

At NKMT, we are committed to creating spaces where you feel heard, held and understood.

If you’re supporting someone through grief, just listen

The greatest gift you can give is presence.

• Listen to understand, not to respond

• Avoid clichés

• Don’t try to fix anything

• Ask how you can support them

• Let them talk about their loved one

Your presence matters more than perfect words.

You don’t need to “Move On". Instead, move forward.

“Moving on” sounds like letting someone go entirely.

Instead, think of moving forward with them.

They remain part of your identity, your story and the choices you make. Being happy again is not disloyal. Smiling does not erase your love.

Healing and remembering can happen side by side.

Say their name. Share their story. Honour their full truth.

Talking about someone, even their flaws, quirks and chaos, keeps their memory alive.

You don’t need to paint them as perfect.

You don’t need to feel guilty for telling the truth.

Let their full humanity live on in your stories.

Finding purpose after loss - but slowly

Purpose can be powerful, but only when you are ready.

Many people feel driven by the unfairness of their loss and want to prevent others from experiencing the same pain. That passion can be healing, but rushing into purpose too soon can delay your emotional recovery.

Give yourself time.

When the moment feels right, purpose might look like:

• Fundraising

• Joining a charity challenge

• Volunteering

• Sharing your story

• Raising awareness

• Supporting research

• Becoming part of a supportive community

When you are emotionally steadier, your purpose becomes stronger and more sustainable.

There is no timeline for grief

Grief is not something you “finish.”

There is no point where you “should” be okay.

Whether it’s been two weeks, two months or two years, your feelings are valid.

Take the time you need.

Seek support when you want it.

Be gentle with yourself.

Allow yourself to live & feel joy again

Joy does not erase grief.

Healing does not erase love.

And living your life fully can be one of the most powerful ways to honour the person you lost.

You don’t have to choose between remembering them and embracing life, you can do both!

If you’ve lost someone to a brain haemorrhage, we are here for you!

Whether you are newly bereaved or years into your journey, NKMT is a community shaped by compassion, courage, and connection.

You are part of something meaningful here.

• Listen to the Prevent the Preventable podcast

• Join our NKMT Change Collective community

• Take part in a running challenge or fundraiser when you’re ready

• Help raise awareness of brain haemorrhage and prevention

Your grief matters.

Your story matters.

And you never have to navigate it alone.